Thoughts Uncategorized

Carry on…

Good morning my dears!

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew that someone was speaking ill of you, whether you witnessed it yourself, or someone advised you of such?  If we would be honest with ourselves, no matter how unaffected we claim to be, it does hurt a little.  And it can be especially hurtful and disappointing when your “accuser” is someone close to you, or someone you just thought never would betray you in that way.  But, I have good news for you!  Be thankful that this has happened!  “What?!  Why?!”  Those are the questions that may have just popped  in your head.  And some of you may be thinking right now, “Yeah, this girl is trippin!”  But just hear me out for a second, ok?  I promise I haven’t lost some marbles…lol.

Give me a few minutes, and I will show you how slander ends up working in YOUR favor!  So, consider the following:

  • Focus on the road, not the wall.  Criticism and negativity from other people is like a wall.  If you find yourself focusing on it, you’ll end up running right into it every time.  You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, anger, and self-doubt.  And as a result, your mind will go where your attention is focused.  Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they can definitely distract you from it.  BUT, if you focus on the road in front of you and on moving forward, then you can dodge and speed past “naysaying” in any form.  So remember, when someone dishes out a negative comment about you, take that as an opportunity to stop and reaffirm yourself.  Use that as a signal to recommit to your personal truth and your knowledge of who you are.   And, refocus on the road ahead of you. Some people are determined to take things personally and tear down the person they feel intimidated by.   Remember also, your life is too short to worry about pleasing those people.
  • Ignore it.  What is said about you behind your back always says more about the speaker than it does about you.  I’ve found that one very important thing that people who choose to slander others do not consider is that, while they are badmouthing another person, there’s a VERY good chance that, eventually, those they’re infecting with their negativity will step back and evaluate their character.  After a while, people will start to really think about what it is about that negative person that makes it so easy for them to bad mouth others.  And worst of all, people will soon realize that these same naysayers are not to be trusted and that they could become the object of the negativity next.  So, my point is, don’t even exert your energy toward the source of negativity in your life, because while they’re talking badly about you, they are destroying their own character.  They will self destruct after a while.
  • Guard your borders.  If a person, whether a  friend or common bystander, continues to damage your character with hurtful words, you may have no option but to limit your exposure to this toxic friendship or interaction.  In these cases, it’s all about protecting yourself by drawing up firm boundaries between you and this person.  If necessary, cease contact with this individual.  This guards your heart and mind against hearing the painful words this person is saying, and also reduces the ability for this person to know your life and therefore to talk about it.  All in all, consider that this negative person has also afforded you the opportunity to really stop and reevaluate your relationships with those around you.  Here lies an opportunity to do some “house cleaning”.
  • Rise above it all.  Finding healing and closure for your hurt feelings regarding a person’s negative comments requires both external and internal resolution.  External resolution involves sometimes having to confront that person and dealing with the conflict.  Sometimes it’s best to not confront the person and seek advice from someone you trust concerning the situation.  This is an area where it’s of the utmost importance to use wisdom.  Internal resolution is looking within yourself and finding the strength to rise above the situation.  People can’t make you feel certain things unless you give them emotional control to make you feel that way.  You are in control of how you react to situations and words.  Feel empowered to recognize that you can’t make everyone happy, including your friends or family who might bad talk you.  Recognize your strengths and the positive things in your life, and rise above the hurtful slander.

All in all, we have to recognize that when someone talks badly about another person, it’s a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.  Insecurity, low self-esteem, feelings of intimidation, and jealousy are some of the main contributors to slander.  So, what does this mean?  It means that, if we really look at the concept of slander, we will see clearly that, it doesn’t even have anything to do with us at all!  Slander is a clear manifestation of another person’s inner struggle.  And guess what the best part of that is?!  The best part of that is that that struggle is not ours at all.  There is nothing we can do about it, and we have no responsibility for it.  All we can do is pray that that person is healed themselves, and we must stay focused!

So, although we may not escape from every negative situation brought upon us by other hateful people unaffected, we can always benefit from it.  So, the next time you get wind of someone slandering you, whether you hear it with your own ears or not, put a smile on your face, and let your actions scream these words in response to the negativity and keep it moving!

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